February 2012
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ROWSDOWER.
I think I may rent out my townhouse to a porno film crew and tell them to be extra loud. Then maybe my neighbors could experience what my sister and I have been subjected to since they’ve moved in.
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Sadly the propaganda campaign launched in the 1960s has taken root. The radical...
– Republican presidential candidate RICK SANTORUM, writing in his 2005 book It Takes A Family, essentially saying that women have no role in the workplace.
They’re just good for heterosexual sex, making babies and cleaning up the house, right, Rick?
Amazingly, about half of half of the country is...
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Oh. Okay. So, the soup I just bought from the cafeteria in my office building was labeled White Bean and Chicken Chili. So far, I’ve seen exactly ZERO white beans or pieces of chicken. Just gigantic fucking chunks of tomato.
Correction: there were two white beans, still no chicken.
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Trufax
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
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ARHHHHHHHHHG. My eyes, my eyes! Goddamn, my eyes! Thank god our IS department doesn’t monitor us in real time, or else I would be fired.
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